"The meaning of life is to be happy" by Matthew Phillip Bachmayer

 The meaning of life to me

.....

 is to be happy. 

To try to be a happier person,.. this is baseline stuff.... 

I try.... to eat healthy (fruit and veg and lean meat / some fatty meats )

Exercise. (For at least two ... hours a day or more)

SLEEP. 

I feel really incredibly old at 31 ((like I have died 1000 times and I am a reincarnation of maximus gladiator russel crowe old)) .... .. I NEED more than six hours sleep. I am crabby and grouchy and unpleasant with any less. I love having seven or eight.... more than eight and I start to feel overslept? and lazy and slothlike. 
And trying to go to bed at nine ... nine thirty max.... with waking up at 5... 515... 530... routine !!
EVEN on weekends... somehow... going to bed at nine ... and getting up at 5... helps alot. 

Here are other random, wierd, quirky and 

unusual or not so unusual these work for me and may indeed work for you too: 

• Feeding animals. Feed the birds. Feed the pigeons. Feed the dog.. Feed the stray cat in the drain. Shout the scrawny stinking filthy stinking drifting street kids some hungry jacks some big burgers who have worn the same shirt and shoes for a month. Give water ! set up a birdbath for the local birds. Feed the possum a banana or apple ! I learn to feed the animals from my favorite BP customer EDWINA. She would feed the twit birds.. and the neighbours cat,.. cat-food. Even before her own food / needs. Dedication.

• Practice and do your hobby. Don't let others make you feel guilty about it. I love motorbikes. At least once a fortnight,... or at least... once a month I go on a decent mountain or wherever motorbike ride. Recently I did a trackday at Lakeside and that was eye opening.

• Watch comedy or watch funny films... Or a really good one ... watch funny animals and funny zoo animals and funny babies and funny animals and children. Laughter is medicene for the soul. The most basic animal and kids videos all for free on youtuhe can work wonders.

• I love my Hawaiian Shirts.. at LOWES there is heaps of Hawaiian shirts for only $20.
  www.lowes.com.au/   I feel happier and better wearing one. IT WORKS !

• Be honest with yourself and others. Say the truth.. Speak the truth. Don't sugarcoat or avoid. Be blunt honest and truthful and it saves alot of time and confusion. which in turn should make you happier. You should be able to find happiness in being genuine and not a fake. 

• Go for a swim !!! In science we all learnt in school or high school etc... That there is solid, liquid and gas. GO FIND LIQUID. WATER !!! Go to a beach. or a SAFE SWIMMING HOLE WITH SUPERVISION... and go swim for an hour ... You will feel so so much better. 

• Sing. On a motorbike it is very easy because no one is listening. The shower is also good. I often sings 90s or 2000s songs or love songs or britney spears or aerosmith or red hot chilli peppers in my helmet. Lifts the soul and spirit and no embarressment !!

• Play your favorite video game. Even though I am a Motorbike NUT. One of my favorite games would be old school. Gran Turismo 3 on the Playstation 2. It's one of my fave games. Just an hour puts me in a good mood. 
  
  
  
• Play music. I enjoy piano and ukulele. Grab a coffee.. and a comfy chair .. or a milk crate.. and go out in public and just JAM. Play for hours and hours. Play Ad jingles. Play video game music. Play TV theme songs. Play nursery rhymes. Play an ACTUAL SONG. who knows. Go for it ! When I jammed for an hour or two on the uku and or piano. I felt happy and at ease.

• Bicycles,... flying a kite,... playing fetch with a dog,... patting a cat,.... watching comedy films or stand up comedy,... filling your bathroom with 100 rubber ducks for 25 dollars off of a chinese ebay seller,... do some gardening,... build a vegie garden,...
  
  Read the Enyclopdedia A to Z ... start to finish... it's going to take a long time... And there is probably encyclopedia's written by many authors... and then go pursue the most interesting subjects to you that are in there !..

•  Don't smoke cigarettes,... they are a mind and body poison with 1000 plus chemicals that make you sick and make you stink... and they make you sad. The Government have not banned them because they make an absolute INSANE amount of money off of them $$$$$$$.

• Be hygienic. Have a really hot shower and a really soapy one. Scrub everywhere and everything. Use your favorite smelling bodywash and brush your teeth real good and go to the dentist and get a mouthwash from your shops. Wear the best smelling to you cologne. Wierdly being really clean can make you happy ?

• ACTUALLY SOCIALISE... DO NOT HIDE BEHIND. FACEBOOK. BEBO. MYSPACE. SNAPCHAT. INSTAGRAM. TWITTER. ETC ETC. GO ACTUALLY MEET SOMEONE AND LOOK THEM IN THE EYES AND TALK TO THEM. ASK THEM HOW THEIR DAY IS. AND HOWS THE FAMILY AND MAYBE EVEN GO TO THE CINEMAS OR GET A COFFEE OR GO TO A GOLF DRIVING RANGE OR MINI GOLF . STOP STARING AT A F@$$42$cking SCREEN.
  
  
  
• GET SUNLIGHT. The sun makes you happy. Don't stay in it for hours and hours and hour and hours and turn pink and peel and get skin cancer. Get enough.
  
  
  
• HELP OTHERS. Help the starving kids in Africa. Help the homeless bum. Help the whales from being harpooned. Save the Rhinoceros because the hunter is killing it because he/she thinks that the horn contains magical shamanic powers. save the environment.. plant a F4325KING TREE.
  
  
  
  
  be thankful you are f@$2$KING ALIVE
  OUT OF THE millions and millions and millions of sperm that scurried out of your dad's balls and shot out his sausage into your mum's welcoming love tunnel. 
  
  YOU MADE IT.
  BE THANKFUL THAT YOU ARE 
  F@%5@KING ALIVE !
  
  
  
  
  

BONUS SECTION

CRY ..THE OPPOSITE OF BEING HAPPY AND SMILING..

IS CRYING

LET IT OUT.

GO BUY A BOTTLE OF GORDONS PINK

(This is a depressant. A sad drink. You won't really see happy nightclubbers drinking this 

A wise man once told me this. If this doesn't make you cry nothing will. )

(It has a demon looking thing below the title... and it is registerered ??? or appointed?? by HM the Royal Family of the UK. So if they stamp something you know it's good)(And maybe someone in the Royal Family gets sad and drinks this ? I bet one of em does.)

(( I can drink about 500-600mls... I can't quite do 700 mls... And my tear's don't fall they crash around me.)) ((If I were to do 700mls I would probably vomit)) ((I do not encourage or condone binge drinking and or alcohol poisoning. ))

(I LEGALLY DECLARE I HAVE NO RESPONSIBILITY OVER HOW MUCH YOU DRINK AND WHATEVER HAPPENS AS A RESULT)

 GIN DO NOT MIX OR WATER IT DOWN OR BE A SOFT COCK WITH IT. 

DRINK IT STRAIGHT OUT OF THE BOTTLE. 
TAKE A BIG SWIG
THINK OF ALL THE TERRIBLE AWFUL DISGUSTING PERVERSE EVIL WRONG DEVIL DIABOLICAL SATANIC ... OH I MISSED OUT.. HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME... UNLAWFUL.. SAD.. DEPRESSED .. EMO .. MISERABLE AWFUL FILTHY BAD HORRIBLE NASTY SHIT 

TAKE ANOTHER BIG SWIG OF THAT GORDONS PINK GIN ( GIN IS A DEPRESSANT) 

AND THINK OF THE WORST THREE MOMENTS OF YOUR LIFE. 

HAVE ANOTHER BIG DRINK.

FOCUS ON THOSE WORST THREE... REPLAY THEM START TO FINISH... EVERY MINOR AND MAJOR DETAIL(S)

THATS IT... UH HUH .. UH HUH WAAAAA
START CRYING..
CRY AND CRY AND CRY... EVEN IF YOUR MALE.... CRY AND CRY SOME MORE
RELEASE YOUR PAIN. 
After you have cried. My record is seven hours but I was in a dark place and a dark time in Salisbury.  My gin record would only be maybe four or five hours. 

JUST CRY LIKE A LITTLE BABY. 

AFTER

after you've cried so much.. your jaw fucking hurts. your eyes are swollen .. people have went up to you and asked " are you okay" (clearly your not ok ) !!. Your tear ducts have actually stopped. and you feel a "Linkin Park Numb". breathe. realise that you are in the present moment. And that life is not perfect. Life would be fucking boring if it were perfect. Because we are humans and humans DO INDEED make mistakes. ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES. Even the high paid CEO or Government Agent even the ROYALTY even the JUDGE god forbid.. MAKES MISTAKES. but so too does the CRIMINAL ... THE HOT BLONDE BARBIE GIRL AND THE HOMELESS BUM of THIRTY PLUS YEARS BEING HOMELESS we all MAKE FUCKING MISTAKES its part of being human. 

EVEN robots and computers make mistakes but that's another whole story.

Cry till you can cry no more. Once you come out the other side you will feel numb because you have let go of all the pain. Only then can you reconcile,.. adjust,.. refocus and live in the moment and not that fucked horrible thing that happened to you. Once you've hit super rock bottom you can only really go onwards and upwards. Even the lightest smile or funnyiest tinyiest thing might be a small positivity any smallest ray of happiness. 

One close to me tells me it's more than likely you will fall asleep. That is good too.. Cry.... fall asleep... And wake up the next day. And anything is gonna be better than crying all day. Even if you go for a walk.. or go for a cruise.. or buy one lotto ticket or ... eat some KFC. or sow some seeds in a vegie garden... ((instead of crying)) you'll be alot better for it. LET IT OUT.